A day in the life of a traveler. For your amusement?
2:15 Shuttle caught after giving lunch time blackboard talk about adiabatic quantum computing and huffing it back to the hotel.
2:30-3:00 Wait in parking lot of a Courtyard Marriott. Twenty person shuttle remains occupied by me and the driver. Other passenger, to fill out the space, a no show.
4:00 Arrive at airport. Check in. Drats looks like the flight is packed so can’t change to better seat.
4:05 Is there really only one security line open for all of these people? Newark is the Newark of airports, so to speak.
5:15 We’re supposed to be boarding. Announcement: “There is a maintenance delay. We don’t know why, but there will be a delay.”
5:40 “There is a maintenance crew on board. They tell us they will know the status at 6:30.”
5:50 “Oops. No maintenance problem. We’ll now be boarding.” The man in front of me tells me after the 5:30 announcement he ordered and paid for a sandwich at the Fridays which he will never eat. Another guy a few slots back asks the airline employee: “Is there really no delay or are we going to just sit on the plane?”
6:20 Seated, 12C. Man next to me says “I’m never getting out of New Jersey.” We laugh.
6:30 Strange jolt, plane shakes. Cockpit door has not been shut. Bad sign.
6:40 Captain: “The emergency exit door in the cockpit is jammed. We’ve managed to get it open, but now the maintenance crew is going to look for a particular screw.”
7:00 Screw found. Waiting for paperwork.
7:10 Doors shut. About to pull out of gate. Man in seat 11D, starts looking worriedly at man in seat 11E. Asks “are you feeling alright?” Man in 11E does not speak English very well. “Do you need to get up?” Man in 11E bolts to front of the plane. Cabin doors reopened.
7:15 Did the man in 11E have a carry on bag? Flight attendants go through bags in overhead and don’t find one unclaimed. Man in 11D, who seems to suffer from ADD, decides he’s had enough and bolts. Row 11 is apparently cursed. I consider moving into the aisle seat, now that two seats have open but decide against it. Lady in pink decides she will risk it.
7:30 Captain comes on and tell us that man receiving medical attention, maybe a heart attack, and that his bag is being removed from the plane.
7:40 Pull away from gate.
8:00 Take off.
8:30 Free cocktails! Yeah!
8:35 Man in 12D has been looking at back of plane for a while. Doesn’t seem comfortable.
9:30ish Man in 12D goes the back of plane, does not come back. Flight attendant comes on and asks “is there anyone on the plane who is a doctor?” Back restrooms closed as man is ill and they can’t find his pulse. Nurse finds his pulse. Back restrooms still closed. Long line forms for restroom in first class (do not go beyond the black curtain!) Guy in seat recalls his joke a while before that we’d probably be landing in Montana with his luck.
10:00 Flight attendants search for identification for the man in 12D. Anyone flying with him? Attempt to find a bag in overhead storage. No luck.
1:30 EST land in Seattle!
O brave new quantum world!
Geez Dave, that sounds like a shocker. Though at least you made it back almost on the same day…
Wow. While I have had what might arguably qualify as worse or more delayed airport experiences, I’ve never had one that weird. Very very strange!
Nothing sums up Newark airport better than “Newark is the Newark of airports.” Ugh…
Yikes! I’ve had some travel horror stories to tell, but nothing quite like this. As it is, you’re lucky it took only 20 minutes from pushback to takeoff, considering that you were in the transatlantic departure rush (been there, done that).
I’ve changed planes in Newark, but never used it as an origin or destination. (Since I live in New Hampshire, I would tend to drive rather than fly for a trip that distance.) As with most big hubs, it’s great when everything is running smoothly and a pit when (as is more often the case) things start going wrong. My worst experience there was coming back from Beijing a couple of years ago, arriving 5 minutes late for a scheduled 75 minute connection: slow walk up the non-working escalator to customs, long wait for luggage, clear customs, re-check luggage, walk around broken escalator to SkyTrain (I had to change terminals), wait in SkyTrain station for breakdown to be fixed, arrive in Terminal A, clear security, run for plane in stocking feet to get there before they close the door, then spend more time between pushback and takeoff than between takeoff from Newark and landing in Boston.
I won’t say I’ve had the SAME experience, but when I lived in NYC, I dreaded having to go into New Jersey because getting out felt like I was an expendable character in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK or something — it was that difficult extricating myself from the maze of highways, byways, road construction, detours, and so forth. That film should have been called ESCAPE FROM NEW JERSEY. Or HOTEL NEW JERSEY. “You can get in any time you want, but you never leave…”
Glad you escaped. 🙂
Dave Bacon: you were experiencing History in the raw.
Opened on October 1, 1928, EWR, the metropolitan region’s first major airport, was built by the City of Newark on 68 acres of marshland and quickly became the world’s busiest commercial airport. During World War II, the Army Air Corps operated it. In 1948, the Port Authority assumed responsibility for operation and development.
In the 1950’s, the Port Authority added an instrument runway, a terminal building, a control tower and an air cargo center.
The Central Terminal Area was constructed and opened in 1973. Runway 4L-22R was commissioned in 1970 and Runway 4R-22L was rebuilt and reopened in 1973. The 1970’s also brought forth the Port Authority Administration Building, the Central Heating and Refrigeration Plant, a Fuel Storage Tank Farm, taxiways and roadways.
In 1989, a two-building maintenance complex opened. It houses airport construction and repair equipment, a large garage for runway snow removal and deicing equipment, and the “snow desk” or command center for snow emergencies.
Newark Liberty International Airport has experienced rapid growth in international air service in the last decade. Today international airlines offer direct service to many destinations around the world.
[the above from the airport’s official web site, via the Port Authority of NY]
Wikipedia adds:
In 1935, Amelia Earhart dedicated the Newark Airport Administration Building, which was North America’s first commercial airline terminal (Croydon Aerodrome, south of London, was the world’s first, predating Newark by seven years). Newark was the busiest airport in the world until LaGuardia Airport opened in 1939, dividing New York’s air traffic and allowing Chicago Midway International Airport to take the lead.
Newark is the tenth busiest airport in the United States and the nation’s fifth busiest international air gateway; JFK ranks first.
Newark Liberty is the second-largest hub for Continental Airlines, which is the airport’s largest tenant (operating all of Terminal C and part of Terminal A). Primarily due to this large hub operation, Continental Airlines is by far the leading carrier in the New York market.[3] FedEx Express operates one of its major cargo hubs at Newark.
In 2007, Newark Airport handled slightly more than 37.3 million passengers, compared to JFK’s 48.9 million and LaGuardia’s 25.3 million. In total over 111 million passengers used New York airports in 2007, making New York the busiest airport system in the United States in terms of passenger numbers.
Ahhh…. New Jersey, how I remember thee so almost-fondly-by-now. At least, it now seems really amusing that no matter how you try, you always have to pay a toll to leave the state by roadway, but not to enter. I’m sure that $4-to-leave-NJ-fee (surely more now) was secretly embedded in the cost of your plane ticket.
Vos Post left out my favorite EWR story. Steatopygous (That’s the contemporary Time Magazine adjective.) New York City Mayor Laguardia supposedly landed at Newark and when told he was in New Jersey demanded the flight continue to New York as he was ticketed. I think they flew him to a military base in New York City, back when NYC was considered a defensible part of the US. That’s the generally told origin of LaGuardia airport story that I’ve heard.
My favorite in-flight medical story was told by a cardiologist friend of mine who was flying to a cardiology conference in LA. Upon discovering that her middle seat was surrounded by cardiologists, she quipped that this would be a great flight to crump on with a heart attack. One row mate nodded, “Actually some guy in row 23 crumped a half hour ago, but he’s stable.”
As a NJ resident I can confirm that yes, one is free to enter the state, but one must pay to exit it.
Do not judge the state by the Northeastern corner however. The rest of the state is a well-kept secret. Since we own the contracts of half the country’s comedians, we can manipulate public opinion and thereby keep the population density at a comfortable level.
Why would I lie?