Sometimes even the mass emailings can be a bit biting:
From: Naturejobs <nature @scientific-direct.net>
Reply-To: Naturejobs <0a818b044 .>
To: D Bacon <dabacon at cs.caltech.edu>
Subject: What is your excuse this year?
Writing a Grant
Yesterday I finished with my first grant application. Now most scientists I know yell and scream about how much of a pain writing a grant is. And while I do think the time sink is pretty severe, I found that it was really quite enjoyable to actually write the proposal. It’s not often that one gets to argue for your research in much the way that you can do in a grant application. In scientific articles you make arguments based on a logical progression and only in the intro do you get to motivate why what you are studying is important. It especially helps that I really [Correction: uh the word “like” should be here] the research I do. If I had to write a proposal about something I had only half my heart in, I can see myself not enjoying the process. Also I tend to view my work as a luxury item: being paid to work on theoretical science is like being given a big shiny yacht and allowed to cruise in the deep blue waters of ideas. Yeah, it’s a blessed life.
Of course, this is my first grant application. Talk to me in a few years and maybe I’ll be like all the other jaded researchers grubbing for money. But if I do, will someone please grab me by the nose and smack me back to my senses?
But a Patent Clerk
Yes, as many will have noticed, I’ve gotten a little bit of the Einstein bug lately. Then, on the APS jobs listing the following listing appeared:
Physics Patent Prosecutor
Berkeley Law & Technology Group, LLC
Salary: Open
Location: Bellevue, Washington
Type: Full Time – Experienced
Physics Patent Prosecutor to join a small group of prosecutors in a well-funded, non-firm environment. PhD preferred, though others could be considered. Work activity will involve preparation and prosecution of patent applications in a variety of technology areas, many of which involve emerging areas of physics. The environment is challenging, unstructured and interesting. You will work directly with inventors from conception through issuance. You should have strong fundamentals and enjoy working in a variety of areas, including quantum mechanics, waves and wave propagation, photonics, optics and other related areas. A good portion of the technology involves working with, applying, or developing cutting edge approaches. Emphasis on quality, productivity and training. Minimum of 1+ years of prosecution experience. Send your response and attach a resume’ to . E-mail queries only. No phone calls please.
As many of you may know, recent events in my family have made getting to the great state of Washington a high priority on my list of priorities (hard to imagine that a postdoc has any other priority than getting a tenure track position wherever he or she can possibly get a position, no?) And most times, when I think that this might mean leaving the tenure track bandwagon of physics, I feel rather sad (better to admit your emotions, than to ever become bitter.) But then I see a posting like this, and I remember Einstein, nothing more than a patent clerk, and I think, well anything is possible.
The Wonders Never Cease
Right now I’m at my office, but I’m also vacuuming my home. How am I doing this, you ask? My new Roomba – the robotic vacuum! Already I am thinking of new names for my new robotic friend. This will be needed especially when the Roomba accidentally (can a robot do someting “on accident?”) chews up something it wasn’t supposed to chew up. The coolest thing about the Roomba right now is that when it gets low on power, it returns to its charging station. Now if only it could reproduce…
Decohered Myself
From an email today:
Greetings Dear Quantum Professor,
A compliment: I can only be a quantum professor if I am coherent. Mostly, however, I am neither coherent nor a professor.
Two Quantum Tapas
Here is the talk i gave this morning at QIP 2005: Two Quantum Tapas.
In the talk I discuss Bell inequalities with communication for multipartite quantum correlations and also quantum error correcting subsystems.
Nerdliness
Via Something Similar, I discover what many of you, I’m sure, have already ascertained:
Why isn’t anyone bowing down before my nerdly godliness?
Book Reviews
I have discovered that I would make a fine film critic, but that there is a difference between a fine film critic and a good scientific book reviewer. I am reminded that my grandfather used to regularly send in letters to the editor of his local newspaper. Is being a bag of inflated opinions genetic? Well, time to throw away my first attempt at a book review, and remind myself that scientists abhor opinions.
Well, Hello There Feller
Again, I’m working hard on my talk for QIP, this time listening to Mozart’s 9th, when I notice that something is definitely different outside my office window once again:
The difference is that there is less brush in this picture.
Let It Snow
I was working so hard on writing my talk for QIP, that I didn’t even notice that right in front of my face, outside my office window, it had started snowing:
