Innerspace

Ever wanted a shrinking machine? Well my cousin Beth (who has way too much time on her hands) points me to this shrinking machine for sale on ebay. Personally I’ll wait for the de-bigulator.

Nature's Harshness

Sometimes even the mass emailings can be a bit biting:

From: Naturejobs <nature @scientific-direct.net>
Reply-To: Naturejobs <0a818b044 .>
To: D Bacon <dabacon at cs.caltech.edu>
Subject: What is your excuse this year?

Whatcha Wearing Under There?

From a L.A. Times story about how people who fidget a lot are leaner:

Each participant wore a special, high-tech set of underwear, which were rigged with sensors and data loggers originally designed to monitor jet fighter motion. The underwear could track most body movements.

It’s great to see what some people will do all for the love of science!

Why Your Self Image Matters

Without a sense of your place in the universe, you end up writing funny shit:

The Revolution Against Evolution, http://www.rae.org is not associated with the Raelians http://www.rael.org. The Raelians claim to be creationists, but not in the Biblical sense. Instead they believe that life was imported from outer space by aliens. Their god is a UFO driver. Our group, Revolution Against Evolution, is made up of traditional Biblical Christians who believe in a supernatural creator God, and his son Jesus Christ. We in no way believe that this Christ was a space alien. We do suspect, however, that the god the Raelians serve and believe in is a counterfeit, either of their own imagination, or demonic in nature. Our creator God of the Bible is not a super-technological god; He is a supernatural God.

Sir Real

A formal deal ending the war is expected in the next few weeks, possibly sooner. Since President George Bush is widely seen as the architect of peace, he is perhaps more popular in southern Sudan than anywhere else on earth. At the Rumbek sub-chief’s election one young warrior called Thuapon leaps frenetically in the air, proudly waving a white Barbie-doll in a pink dress. “This is a new wife for President Bush. May God grant him many fertile women with firm bodies and an election victory without problems in Florida.” The Economist, May 13, 2004

Lisa the Slow Learner

(Lisa is bowled over by a college girl.)
LISA (awed): “Are you reading `Gravity’s Rainbow’?”
COLLEGE GIRL (snidely): “Well, rereading.”

Those Silly Pranksters

From Foxtrot:
TV: Welcome to the BCS national championship football game, here at the Louisiana Superdome.
TV: Let’s begin by acknowledging that there’s been some controversy concerning the teams chosen to play for this year’s title, but they were determined by the computer, and who can question that?
TV: Whoa, Nelly! M.I.T. has fumbled the coin toss and Caltech goes wild!

You Down With Entropy? Yeah You Know Me.

“It is no secret that we are not scientists up here, so we look at things logically.”-U.S. Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) commenting on the his attempt to hone in on sound science in the debate about climate change.