Category: Best Title Ever

Posted on

Devilish Dice Games

A new entry in the best title ever competition appeared last week on the arXiv:

arXiv:0806.4874
Why devil plays dice?
Authors: Andrzej Dragan
Abstract: Principle of Relativity involving all, not only subluminal, inertial frames
leads to the disturbance of causal laws in a way known from the fundamental
postulates of Quantum Theory. We show how quantum indeterminacy based on
complex probability amplitudes with superposition principle emerges from
Special Relativity.

I bet the devil would play a mean game of liar’s dice.

Posted on

The Shrimp! They See Me Polarizations!

A new entry in the best title ever competition: arXiv:0804.2162, “The secret world of shrimps: polarisation vision at its best”, by Sonja Kleinlogel and Andrew G. White. Secret lives of shrimp? That sounds more like an expose on the secret drug habits of the Roloffs on the T.V. show Little People Big World, than the title for a scientific article. (Yes it is politically incorrect to call little people “shrimps.” Having spent the first many years of my life being stared at for have a little person as a sister, however, I think you can cut me some slack, and just laugh 🙂 ) Let’s see if makes it by the title police.
Continue reading “The Shrimp! They See Me Polarizations!”

Posted on

Best Title Ever Competition: Quantum Flatland Edition

Today, I looked on the arxiv and found arXiv:0804.0272:

arXiv:0804.0272
Quantum computing using shortcuts through higher dimensions
Authors: B. P. Lanyon, M. Barbieri, M. P. Almeida, T. Jennewein, T. C. Ralph, K. J. Resch, G. J. Pryde, J. L. O’Brien, A. Gilchrist, A. G. White

and nearly fell out of my chair. What an awesome title. A least for me, when I first parsed the title of the paper, the first thing that popped into my head was using spatial dimensions to speed up quantum computation (as opposed to using higher dimensional quantum systems.) Gots to get me some string theories to build my quantum computer 🙂 (Oh and the paper is pretty cool as well!)

Posted on

Slandering Ants Anthropically

Another checkmark in front of the “antrhopic reasoning is whack”:

arXiv:0802.4121
Title: Ants are not Conscious
Authors: Russell K. Standish
Anthropic reasoning is a form of statistical reasoning based upon finding oneself a member of a particular reference class of conscious beings. By considering empirical distribution functions defined over animal life on Earth, we can deduce that the vast bulk of animal life is unlikely to be conscious. As a side effect of these deliberations, I also show that naturally occurring fragmentation/coalescence processes give rise to a power law distribution of fragment sizes, a previously unknown mechanism for generating power laws.

Posted on

God Is a Weak Coin Flipper

One of the funniest abstracts to a paper on the arxiv in many moons appeared yesterday, authored by Carlos Mochon:

arXiv:0711.4114
Title: Quantum weak coin flipping with arbitrarily small bias
Authors: Carlos Mochon
“God does not play dice. He flips coins instead.” And though for some reason He has denied us quantum bit commitment. And though for some reason he has even denied us strong coin flipping. He has, in His infinite mercy, granted us quantum weak coin flipping so that we too may flip coins. Instructions for the flipping of coins are contained herein. But be warned! Only those who have mastered Kitaev’s formalism relating coin flipping and operator monotone functions may succeed. For those foolhardy enough to even try, a complete tutorial is included.

Continue reading “God Is a Weak Coin Flipper”

Posted on

BTE Nomination: "Heavy Ion Collisions at the LHC – Last Call for Predictions"

Many of you know I’m a big fan of funny/creative paper titles. What with journal editors squashing every last ounce of humanity our of scientific papers, it always makes me happy to see someone else fighting the editorial machine. Today a friend sends me “Heavy Ion Collisions at the LHC – Last Call for Predictions,” by S. Abreu et al arXiv:0711.0974 (scirate here.) which cracks me up.
Continue reading “BTE Nomination: "Heavy Ion Collisions at the LHC – Last Call for Predictions"”