Comments on: Physiology of Heartache http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661 Theoretical Musings Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:06:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Jeanette http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-353125 Jeanette Sun, 08 Aug 2010 03:35:47 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-353125 Wow. So happy that I found this site. I lost my husband of 27 years two weeks ago. He died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 54. There were no signs that this was going to happen. About a week before he had the heart attack, I felt as if I was about to have a heart attack as my heart was aching for a week before he died. Since then I have had terrible heart ache and keep thinking that he is calling me. My left lower arm also aches at times but my heart has not stopped aching. Thank you to all of you for your input and stories as this has helped me to realize what is happening to me. Love to all Wow. So happy that I found this site. I lost my husband of
27 years two weeks ago. He died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 54. There were no signs that this was going to happen. About a week before he had the heart attack, I felt as if I was about to have a heart attack as my heart was aching for a week before he died. Since then I have had terrible heart ache and keep thinking that he is calling me. My left lower arm also aches at times but my heart has not stopped aching. Thank you to all of you for your input and stories as this has helped me to realize what is happening to me. Love to all

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]]> By: Pete http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-342063 Pete Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:50:45 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-342063 The whole subject is quite amazing, and obviously massively in need of deeper research both psychologically, medically and I think socially. Whoever it was who created this small article (Dave Bacon??) you really should look into the possibilities of writing a book on the subject... you might just make a best seller! I also experience physical heartache, and over the past few weeks it has got to a stage where I felt I should do some research, and like many of the rest of contributors, came online to see what I could find out only to encounter the same problem of lack of information. I have recently broke up from a relationship that lasted almost two years, although we broke up on mutual grounds and are still good friends. The first time I experienced this feeling was after a messy breakup when I was 21 with a girl I had been in a relationship with for over 4 years and still had a deep emotional connection to. I believe the feeling definitely derives from a neurological response to loss... although why the feeling originates around the heart is a real mystery. One thing is for certain in my mind, the feeling of heartache originates from the brains emotional base, the Amygdala. The centre of rational thought processes (the neo cortex) seems to be over-ridden by the intensity of a deep emotional loss. I think that much like swans, human behaviour in relationships (on the large) holds a very monogamous primal base. Therefore, we become extremely attached to a particular individual and in some form dedicate ourselves to them (relationship). When a couple break up after a longterm relationship it is common to hear things from at least one party such as, 'I can't live without him/her'. It could be argued that this is the emotional brain speaking. Rationally, the person knows they can live without the person, but the intensity of their emotions of loss sends the person into depression/distress etc. I think understanding the processes and primal responses that trigger emotional distress to loss are key in understanding why heart ache occurs... although understanding what it is exactly that makes us feel such a specific feeling is the real mystery. Some good authors / theorists to look up regarding emotional attachment and the emotional brain are John Bowlby (possibly get a book written about his theories, not by him himself... personally his own writing sends me to sleep!) or Daniel Goleman (extremely interesting read, linked in with scenarios and real life situations.) The whole subject is quite amazing, and obviously massively in need of deeper research both psychologically, medically and I think socially. Whoever it was who created this small article (Dave Bacon??) you really should look into the possibilities of writing a book on the subject… you might just make a best seller!

I also experience physical heartache, and over the past few weeks it has got to a stage where I felt I should do some research, and like many of the rest of contributors, came online to see what I could find out only to encounter the same problem of lack of information.

I have recently broke up from a relationship that lasted almost two years, although we broke up on mutual grounds and are still good friends. The first time I experienced this feeling was after a messy breakup when I was 21 with a girl I had been in a relationship with for over 4 years and still had a deep emotional connection to.

I believe the feeling definitely derives from a neurological response to loss… although why the feeling originates around the heart is a real mystery. One thing is for certain in my mind, the feeling of heartache originates from the brains emotional base, the Amygdala. The centre of rational thought processes (the neo cortex) seems to be over-ridden by the intensity of a deep emotional loss.

I think that much like swans, human behaviour in relationships (on the large) holds a very monogamous primal base. Therefore, we become extremely attached to a particular individual and in some form dedicate ourselves to them (relationship). When a couple break up after a longterm relationship it is common to hear things from at least one party such as, ‘I can’t live without him/her’. It could be argued that this is the emotional brain speaking. Rationally, the person knows they can live without the person, but the intensity of their emotions of loss sends the person into depression/distress etc.

I think understanding the processes and primal responses that trigger emotional distress to loss are key in understanding why heart ache occurs… although understanding what it is exactly that makes us feel such a specific feeling is the real mystery.

Some good authors / theorists to look up regarding emotional attachment and the emotional brain are John Bowlby (possibly get a book written about his theories, not by him himself… personally his own writing sends me to sleep!) or Daniel Goleman (extremely interesting read, linked in with scenarios and real life situations.)

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]]> By: LHH http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337748 LHH Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:31:18 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337748 It feels like a real physical ache and it seems to never go away. Not enough pain to make me think I'm having a heart attack, but enough that I am starting to worry if I may be a candidate for one. After reading through all the posts it appears that losing a loved one through death, divorce, or abandonment is a common denominator. Too bad more research has not been done in this area. My loss was a suicide. I am living day to day but this ache just wont let up. I am proceeding through the grieving process and have even accepted all of it but this ache..... It is really something. I know I am not alone with this feeling but still. Have you tried going to the doctor ofr it more than once? They look at you like you have two heads and like you are an addict trying to get a fix. Not everyone is like that. Some of us are really legitimate sufferers. It feels like a real physical ache and it seems to never go away. Not enough pain to make me think I’m having a heart attack, but enough that I am starting to worry if I may be a candidate for one.
After reading through all the posts it appears that losing a loved one through death, divorce, or abandonment is a common denominator. Too bad more research has not been done in this area.
My loss was a suicide. I am living day to day but this ache just wont let up. I am proceeding through the grieving process and have even accepted all of it but this ache….. It is really something. I know I am not alone with this feeling but still.
Have you tried going to the doctor ofr it more than once? They look at you like you have two heads and like you are an addict trying to get a fix. Not everyone is like that. Some of us are really legitimate sufferers.

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]]> By: Janice http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337724 Janice Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:44:17 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337724 Rachael, I too have experienced this yawning while going through heartache. Yawning is caused from lack of oxygen. When people are experiencing grief they have a tendency to breath shallow and quick without even realizing it. We yawn to get more oxygen. I am experienceing a broken heart right now even though I am still with the one I love. We have been together for three years and I started feeling the pain after our first true fight during year two. The pain eases when things are going perfect but is still always there. Right now things between us are a little shakey and it feels as if my heart is breaking in two. It causes me to have digestive problems, lack of concentration, and actual physical pain in my chest. My Dr. told me that it was anxiety and gave me xanax. It is truely amazing how that one little pill can take the heart ache away for the four hours that its in your system, which makes me think that there is definately an answer for why we have physical pain from heartache. How can we stop the pain when we dont know what it is?? Somehow that pill can take it all away.....and it not magic. If we can make a pill take away an emotion....we should be able to know why. Once we know why we can start to link it to another "why" and so on. I have come to realize that I am feeling this pain because I know that we will not be together forever as I had once thought. So I have started grieving before the event has even taken place. It's weird. Also, has anyone realized that painkillers dont take away the pain of heartache even though it IS physical pain? I dont take the xanax anymore.....it doesnt cure anything and I dont recomend it. In fact it prolongs it from ending. You cant get over it until you experience it. You cant experience it if you are drugged. One last thing.....an exercise. count your breaths all the way to ten over and over. If you mess up and forget what number your on you have to start over. If you even question that you lost count, go back to one. This takes the pain away for a little bit and lets your mind rest. Its a lot harder to do than you think....especially when your hurting. But you force yourself to keep counting and before you know it you realize that you were at peace for a sec. When I first started doing it I couldnt get past four without having to start over. This also works great to help you sleep. Goodluck to all who are hurting. It definately sucks. If anyone wants to, email me if you want to talk about it at janice4141@hotmail.com. We can swap stories.....that seems to ease the pain also. It's comforting to know that your not alone. Take care, Janice Rachael,
I too have experienced this yawning while going through heartache. Yawning is caused from lack of oxygen. When people are experiencing grief they have a tendency to breath shallow and quick without even realizing it. We yawn to get more oxygen.

I am experienceing a broken heart right now even though I am still with the one I love. We have been together for three years and I started feeling the pain after our first true fight during year two. The pain eases when things are going perfect but is still always there. Right now things between us are a little shakey and it feels as if my heart is breaking in two. It causes me to have digestive problems, lack of concentration, and actual physical pain in my chest. My Dr. told me that it was anxiety and gave me xanax. It is truely amazing how that one little pill can take the heart ache away for the four hours that its in your system, which makes me think that there is definately an answer for why we have physical pain from heartache. How can we stop the pain when we dont know what it is?? Somehow that pill can take it all away…..and it not magic. If we can make a pill take away an emotion….we should be able to know why. Once we know why we can start to link it to another “why” and so on. I have come to realize that I am feeling this pain because I know that we will not be together forever as I had once thought. So I have started grieving before the event has even taken place. It’s weird. Also, has anyone realized that painkillers dont take away the pain of heartache even though it IS physical pain? I dont take the xanax anymore…..it doesnt cure anything and I dont recomend it. In fact it prolongs it from ending. You cant get over it until you experience it. You cant experience it if you are drugged.

One last thing…..an exercise.

count your breaths all the way to ten over and over. If you mess up and forget what number your on you have to start over. If you even question that you lost count, go back to one. This takes the pain away for a little bit and lets your mind rest. Its a lot harder to do than you think….especially when your hurting. But you force yourself to keep counting and before you know it you realize that you were at peace for a sec. When I first started doing it I couldnt get past four without having to start over. This also works great to help you sleep. Goodluck to all who are hurting. It definately sucks. If anyone wants to, email me if you want to talk about it at janice4141@hotmail.com. We can swap stories…..that seems to ease the pain also. It’s comforting to know that your not alone.
Take care,
Janice

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]]> By: M.W. http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337185 M.W. Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:11:48 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337185 Alice, thanks for sharing your story - it sounds quite similar to mine with one significant difference: physical proximity to the one for whom you developed the strong feelings. That blows a hole in the theory of "limbic resonance" as presented in the book "A General Theory of Love", since that resonance is said to not function well at a distance. hmmmmm... (see my 9/14/07 post above) I'm curious to discuss other similarities and differences if you care to - guitar.mw@gmail.com BTW, it's over 5 years now since my separation, and the heartache pain has mostly subsided, but some of the compulsive behavior is still alive and well... Alice, thanks for sharing your story – it sounds quite similar to mine with one significant difference: physical proximity to the one for whom you developed the strong feelings. That blows a hole in the theory of “limbic resonance” as presented in the book “A General Theory of Love”, since that resonance is said to not function well at a distance. hmmmmm… (see my 9/14/07 post above) I’m curious to discuss other similarities and differences if you care to – guitar.mw@gmail.com
BTW, it’s over 5 years now since my separation, and the heartache pain has mostly subsided, but some of the compulsive behavior is still alive and well…

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]]> By: Rachael http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337164 Rachael Tue, 30 Mar 2010 16:02:30 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337164 Hi, just came across this webpage like many here after searching the net to see if grief and loss can actually be a physical pain in the chest! I lost my mum, granny and granda within 6 months of eachother when I was 16 and I completely blocked the grief out, it took me 10 years to face it, and it definately manifested physically as strong chest pains, like pressure and restriction in the centre of my chest. Recently a relationship has ended and another death of a close friend's mother and both of these have brought back this chest pain. I am grieving for these losses, although they are minor, but I do believe it is opening up the old losses all over again as well. I don't think the pain ever goes away, I think you just learn ways to deal with it and most importantly let the emotions and tears flow. I find that if I let myself have a really good cry, and vocalise the crying it definately takes the pain away, but sometimes I have to just wait all day to get home from work so I can do this in the peace of my own home and it is physically exhausting as I always fall asleep afterwards. Then when I awaken I have renewed energy to go and get on with something simple, even just washing the dishes in the sink. I have also come to learn that it's [what i'm going to call] "genuine grief crying" because I ALWAYS yawn over and over again when this is happening. Or even sometimes just thinking about the grief I yawn several times in a row and do feel some release. Anyone else had this yawning thing? I usually hold a rose quartz crystal over my chest when I cry [who knows if it works it may just be a talisman!] and let out sounds, like groaning and moaning and this definately helps release it. I do think there is something very real about sound healing and using your own voice in this way is the same thing. My chest pain has been almost constant for the past two weeks now, but word was extra stressful all last week so I think tha had an effect too. I am really interested on how emotions physically manifest in the body, I would love to hear of some scientific research on this! And more discussion here. Thank goodness it isn't only me. And I guess this is where the phrase heartache comes from - it IS physical. Hi, just came across this webpage like many here after searching the net to see if grief and loss can actually be a physical pain in the chest! I lost my mum, granny and granda within 6 months of eachother when I was 16 and I completely blocked the grief out, it took me 10 years to face it, and it definately manifested physically as strong chest pains, like pressure and restriction in the centre of my chest. Recently a relationship has ended and another death of a close friend’s mother and both of these have brought back this chest pain. I am grieving for these losses, although they are minor, but I do believe it is opening up the old losses all over again as well. I don’t think the pain ever goes away, I think you just learn ways to deal with it and most importantly let the emotions and tears flow.

I find that if I let myself have a really good cry, and vocalise the crying it definately takes the pain away, but sometimes I have to just wait all day to get home from work so I can do this in the peace of my own home and it is physically exhausting as I always fall asleep afterwards. Then when I awaken I have renewed energy to go and get on with something simple, even just washing the dishes in the sink. I have also come to learn that it’s [what i'm going to call] “genuine grief crying” because I ALWAYS yawn over and over again when this is happening. Or even sometimes just thinking about the grief I yawn several times in a row and do feel some release. Anyone else had this yawning thing? I usually hold a rose quartz crystal over my chest when I cry [who knows if it works it may just be a talisman!] and let out sounds, like groaning and moaning and this definately helps release it. I do think there is something very real about sound healing and using your own voice in this way is the same thing.

My chest pain has been almost constant for the past two weeks now, but word was extra stressful all last week so I think tha had an effect too.

I am really interested on how emotions physically manifest in the body, I would love to hear of some scientific research on this! And more discussion here.

Thank goodness it isn’t only me. And I guess this is where the phrase heartache comes from – it IS physical.

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]]> By: Alice http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337145 Alice Mon, 29 Mar 2010 23:36:26 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337145 U know, Alisa, funny we found this thread so late (years!) on, just looking for answer to this sensation all of us feel. It speaks to the fact that this phenomenon is universal and neverending. I, too, am not a young girl and I remembered that, like u, I felt the first of the physical heartache months into my relationship with this man. Being 10,000 (imagine!) miles away from each other, yet feeling such a strong emotional bond was causing me so much pain. Still feel ridiculous having never met the man, but such romances have happened. U know, Alisa, funny we found this thread so late (years!) on, just looking for answer to this sensation all of us feel. It speaks to the fact that this phenomenon is universal and neverending. I, too, am not a young girl and I remembered that, like u, I felt the first of the physical heartache months into my relationship with this man. Being 10,000 (imagine!) miles away from each other, yet feeling such a strong emotional bond was causing me so much pain. Still feel ridiculous having never met the man, but such romances have happened.

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]]> By: Alice http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337080 Alice Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:25:24 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337080 I am in tears to think that many of you have experienced and still experience this pain. I have lost other loves and miscarried a child, yet I have never experienced this true physical pain I have felt since saying goodbye to a man I love 4 1/2 years ago. I'm ashamed to say we were and still are both married to other people, but it was not a physical relationship. In fact, I've never even met this man in person. We exchanged letters and emails and pictures, yet never met. We actually live on different continents! I know this sounds utterly ridiculous, but after 18 months of communication, we both absolutely felt we were in love. We are both spiritual people and I do feel it was a spiritual connection, although obviously not meant to be. I actually think we would be poorly matched as mates, but there's still this feeling of attraction and deep spiritual connection. I don't know what it was, but when my husband discovered how I felt for this man, I told my transatlantic love I had to say goodbye. He said I took a piece of his heart and I feel the same way. I don't feel the constant pain anymore (it was awful for months), but last night I dreamt of him and I feel it anew. I don't understand it but am glad others seek an answer so I don't feel so silly. I know it is real. I also know my heart is healthy--I recently had an EKG. So my fellow heartachers, just know you're not alone and the pain lessens over time. I am in tears to think that many of you have experienced and still experience this pain. I have lost other loves and miscarried a child, yet I have never experienced this true physical pain I have felt since saying goodbye to a man I love 4 1/2 years ago. I’m ashamed to say we were and still are both married to other people, but it was not a physical relationship. In fact, I’ve never even met this man in person. We exchanged letters and emails and pictures, yet never met. We actually live on different continents! I know this sounds utterly ridiculous, but after 18 months of communication, we both absolutely felt we were in love. We are both spiritual people and I do feel it was a spiritual connection, although obviously not meant to be. I actually think we would be poorly matched as mates, but there’s still this feeling of attraction and deep spiritual connection. I don’t know what it was, but when my husband discovered how I felt for this man, I told my transatlantic love I had to say goodbye. He said I took a piece of his heart and I feel the same way. I don’t feel the constant pain anymore (it was awful for months), but last night I dreamt of him and I feel it anew. I don’t understand it but am glad others seek an answer so I don’t feel so silly. I know it is real. I also know my heart is healthy–I recently had an EKG. So my fellow heartachers, just know you’re not alone and the pain lessens over time.

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]]> By: Alisa http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337041 Alisa Fri, 26 Mar 2010 22:01:25 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-337041 @eliona - I was searching for "heartbreak + left hand pain" It's amazing that we all seem to have these experiences! I too haven't lost my love, but he is 2000 miles away and I don't know how we can make it work. Today as I realized how difficult if not impossible it will be to make this work my heart literally ached and tingling shot down my arm to the center of my left palm. This has happened before, but only with this relationship. I do believe that there is a very deep soul thing going on - I've never felt something so intense. I'm not a young girl, either. @eliona -
I was searching for “heartbreak + left hand pain”
It’s amazing that we all seem to have these experiences! I too haven’t lost my love, but he is 2000 miles away and I don’t know how we can make it work. Today as I realized how difficult if not impossible it will be to make this work my heart literally ached and tingling shot down my arm to the center of my left palm. This has happened before, but only with this relationship. I do believe that there is a very deep soul thing going on – I’ve never felt something so intense. I’m not a young girl, either.

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]]> By: not my first broken heart http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-336296 not my first broken heart Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:54:05 +0000 http://dabacon.org/pontiff/?p=661#comment-336296 First thing.... Dora: I am sending prayers to you. Im sure that your son is sending his love from above. I had to give up 2 of my 3 children for open adoption, although I only see one currently. The other one is 10 and I haven't seen him in almost 5 years because of things that happened following the conception of my 2nd child whom I kept and am raising with her father separatley. These hard times lead to the conception of a 3rd child that I had to give up, and he lives close, in my city, so that is the only reason I get to see him. I hope you find strength and good times, sooner than later, you deserve them... Peace, Love, Light and many many Blessings to your Heart, Spirit, and Soul.... Now here is my heartache view: I put "get appetite back after heartache" into bing, and this is the first link I clicked on, thank goodness! I read about 3/4 of the comments on here, and finally felt like eating. That was 3 hours ago. Along with the loss of appetite I have been having "heartache" on and off since early December, when he first moved out. Since then, I've been doing everything I know to get him back. I have been letting him have a relationship with me when it is conveniant for him... Letting it take my life force. Letting my 3 year old daughter be taken care of by everyone but me. She is basically begging for my love, while I beg for his, and it makes me sick. Last week his pushing me away psychologically at will, turned to pushing me away physically, and it has left many bruises. He promised that it would never happen again (as they all do) and that he would go with me to a professional to get help, but we didn't make it there before the 2nd physical pushing away and subsequent 2nd set of bruises... I have had these heartaches since I was 22, and I am now 28.... The first time it happened and I described it to someone, they told me "your having an anxiety attack, honey.." and fed me Xanax... This time, my heart hurts the worst it ever has. When my heart physically hurts because of "him", it feels like my breastbone is being cracked open, from the underneath, and it feels like my heart is being punctured by said bone. Well, that is how it has felt lately, in the worst. I have felt every different type of pain, shortness of breath, heaviness on the chest, etc. that has been listed on here. I think that the heartache cannot be fully measured by man made machines, ie scientifically laid out as to what happens exactly, because I agree with quite a good amount of people on here that it has to do with all levels of our being, and we are NOT just physical beings... I believe we are Spiritual beings living a physical existance, and anything that is "out there" is because we are trying to measure something that is immeasurable. Not to say we cannot measure with EKG's, MRI's, etc, and probably notice differences in those with heartache and those without, but there is way more going on than just the physical... I have found that being loved by myself, or someone else (friend, family member), or seeing/reading something "heartwarming" will help it go away acutley, but it does take time for it to completley go away until the next major type thing that causes it... I have also found that, every time it feels totally "healed", I can give more love and accept more love, more freely and uninhibited, and that it takes longer and more "hard stuff" to break it again.. Maybe that is because of every time, I learn more about myself and others, so I can sidestep the things that have done it before, at least for a while, therefore I need different and/or more harsh things to break it again....? I am intuitively getting the "its time to stop" from myself, so I am going to do so... I will be checking back to review all the posts before mine, and see other posters' responses, as it has only been 4 days since the official "official breakup". If anyone would like to leave comments for me, I wouldn't mind, and in fact would appriciate it... I thank The Quantum Pontiff for starting the topic off, and the rest of you, besides John and Migallen, for your honest and informitive views... I hope that my view helps someone else. Peace, Love and Light to us all... First thing….

Dora:
I am sending prayers to you. Im sure that your son is sending his love from above.
I had to give up 2 of my 3 children for open adoption, although I only see one currently. The other one is 10 and I haven’t seen him in almost 5 years because of things that happened following the conception of my 2nd child whom I kept and am raising with her father separatley. These hard times lead to the conception of a 3rd child that I had to give up, and he lives close, in my city, so that is the only reason I get to see him.
I hope you find strength and good times, sooner than later, you deserve them… Peace, Love, Light and many many Blessings to your Heart, Spirit, and Soul….

Now here is my heartache view:

I put “get appetite back after heartache” into bing, and this is the first link I clicked on, thank goodness!
I read about 3/4 of the comments on here, and finally felt like eating.

That was 3 hours ago. Along with the loss of appetite I have been having “heartache” on and off since early December, when he first moved out. Since then, I’ve been doing everything I know to get him back. I have been letting him have a relationship with me when it is conveniant for him… Letting it take my life force. Letting my 3 year old daughter be taken care of by everyone but me. She is basically begging for my love, while I beg for his, and it makes me sick.

Last week his pushing me away psychologically at will, turned to pushing me away physically, and it has left many bruises. He promised that it would never happen again (as they all do) and that he would go with me to a professional to get help, but we didn’t make it there before the 2nd physical pushing away and subsequent 2nd set of bruises…

I have had these heartaches since I was 22, and I am now 28…. The first time it happened and I described it to someone, they told me “your having an anxiety attack, honey..” and fed me Xanax… This time, my heart hurts the worst it ever has.

When my heart physically hurts because of “him”, it feels like my breastbone is being cracked open, from the underneath, and it feels like my heart is being punctured by said bone. Well, that is how it has felt lately, in the worst. I have felt every different type of pain, shortness of breath, heaviness on the chest, etc. that has been listed on here.

I think that the heartache cannot be fully measured by man made machines, ie scientifically laid out as to what happens exactly, because I agree with quite a good amount of people on here that it has to do with all levels of our being, and we are NOT just physical beings… I believe we are Spiritual beings living a physical existance, and anything that is “out there” is because we are trying to measure something that is immeasurable. Not to say we cannot measure with EKG’s, MRI’s, etc, and probably notice differences in those with heartache and those without, but there is way more going on than just the physical…

I have found that being loved by myself, or someone else (friend, family member), or seeing/reading something “heartwarming” will help it go away acutley, but it does take time for it to completley go away until the next major type thing that causes it…

I have also found that, every time it feels totally “healed”, I can give more love and accept more love, more freely and uninhibited, and that it takes longer and more “hard stuff” to break it again.. Maybe that is because of every time, I learn more about myself and others, so I can sidestep the things that have done it before, at least for a while, therefore I need different and/or more harsh things to break it again….?

I am intuitively getting the “its time to stop” from myself, so I am going to do so…

I will be checking back to review all the posts before mine, and see other posters’ responses, as it has only been 4 days since the official “official breakup”. If anyone would like to leave comments for me, I wouldn’t mind, and in fact would appriciate it…

I thank The Quantum Pontiff for starting the topic off, and the rest of you, besides John and Migallen, for your honest and informitive views…

I hope that my view helps someone else.
Peace, Love and Light to us all…

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